you win again, gameday.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
