Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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