Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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