He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize