he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
