how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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