just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
