Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
