I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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