my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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