I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
