with your own penis?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
