that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This baby is an asshole
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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