he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
