I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
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you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
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He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.