I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
