A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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