Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator

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  (423): I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator http://tfl.nu/6zcj
  Replies (27) Good night (1323) Bad night (4687)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.

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  (978): suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg. http://tfl.nu/rk1z
  Replies (38) Good night (776) Bad night (11636)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

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  (732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right http://tfl.nu/htd0
  Replies (31) Good night (29446) Bad night (1144)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.

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  (613): Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill. http://tfl.nu/ungu
  Replies (10) Good night (4518) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

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  (314): I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning... http://tfl.nu/4oxc
  Replies (27) Good night (993) Bad night (4172)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.

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  (715): My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it. http://tfl.nu/q7ku
  Replies (3) Good night (3225) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds

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  (303): Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/arjt
  Replies (14) Good night (2522) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.

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  (440): I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray. http://tfl.nu/d3w5
  Replies (10) Good night (1766) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.

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  (203): You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet. http://tfl.nu/4f2y
  Replies (4) Good night (4222) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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  (831): maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick http://tfl.nu/1wa4
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (1414)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Breakfast tacos?

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS

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  (832): Breakfast tacos? (1-832): YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS http://tfl.nu/haxw
  Replies (17) Good night (2936) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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  (503): Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow. http://tfl.nu/26gh
  Replies (10) Good night (1712) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.

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  (918): I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance. http://tfl.nu/ugp3
  Replies (13) Good night (1713) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.

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  (603): so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me. http://tfl.nu/37lj
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.

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  (512): Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice. http://tfl.nu/qhen
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (306)

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