You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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