Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have started to decorate penises.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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