Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
