it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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