Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize