So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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