honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Your tits are I can't wait for
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
