If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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