he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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