I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
