i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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