We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
