I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
