Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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