But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
