Soap is not a condiment
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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