hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
