Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was confusing and full of hummus
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
