nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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