If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
