Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
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That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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