So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you win again, gameday.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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