You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
