then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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