i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
