Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
