The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
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Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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