i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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