i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot