wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.