Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him