I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.