Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
