I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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