So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
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Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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