he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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