Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
