If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
