i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
