well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
