I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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