the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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