Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
