Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
