What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
