I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
