Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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