This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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