So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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