So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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