Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
